Sad?

'A 72-year old Romanian woman kept her husband's death a secret for two weeks because she wanted to make sure he was really dead, and not just pretending to be dead so he could go be with his mistress. '- boing boing

is it sad if I find this slightly amusing? 

Had an interview at 8:30 two mornings ago. Instead of going, chose sleeping in and morning sex. And I wonder why I've been stuck at the same job for so long. I feel like I need someone walking around behind me with a gun at my back for me to accomplish anything. And that person needs to be me. 

(image- http://mila-loveology.blogspot.com/)

Its so grey today. I'm sick of hearing about how great LA weather is.  Its never great, its just never bad enough for long enough for people to complain.  But I can, it never quite warm enough or cool enough or dry enough to be perfect like they claim.  Especially today. I hate my job. I wanna disappear into a cloud.

Fish

I still can't believe I'm still here. In LA. I know I need to be planning ahead, I want to go back to school. Vaguely. But every time I think of moving to where I want to be I can't think any further because it means leaving what I have here. I never thought I'd let a person tie me down, but that's exactly what I'm doing. Moving means leaving him, and he is my entire life here, so it means leaving my life. It scares me so much. But I can't see us together forever anyway, I think its something that will have to happen at some point. I just really don't want to do it. But I'm starting to get good interview again. Jobs that would be long term and I need to figure out if I want to continue with them, plan to stay long term, or not. I need to figure out how to rely on myself again. 

I need fish tacos.

3 rooms later

I just realized I haven't posted in about 8 months. Since my move into the loft downtown really. The artsy hell hole with no windows or internet...or kitchen for the first 3 months. Then my boyfriends place for a month and now here! Los Feliz my own room, living room space out back and a cat!

I've only run into one problem so far.  Although I moved most of my stuff in on March 1 and 2nd, had my bed set up within the week, I haven't been able to sleep here yet.  Or really I just haven't been able to sleep alone yet. I've tried. I've planned on spending the night here by myself, gotten pj's on and brushed my teeth, tried to go sleep, but always around 2 or 3 I'll text him to see if he's still awake (he always is) and head over, which happens to be about 5 blocks away. Barely even 5 blocks. I know this is a problem, its not healthy, right? I vaguely feel like I'm using him for a good night sleep. But I just can't get to sleep if I can't roll over any bury my head in his chest every now and then. 

Help??

I might just need to go through a couple sleepless nights, I guess. Or maybe this isn't even a problem and I'm blowing it out of proportion?